Banned

Your eviction notice has been served. Please pack your things and get out of my life. I once called you family and to another I called you my best friend. My weaknesses got the best of me and I let you stay too long.

I let you break down my shell and tear out my insides. You used my insecurities against me and fired your shots. If you could see the destruction in real life I would have had holes all over my body, dripping with blood. I probably would have been crawling on the ground and crying, I would have been reaching for you and screaming at you to stop and help me. You both would have just stood there with your arms crossed and probably laughed.

It has been almost a year since I lost both of you. My shell is growing back and getting stronger. I used to forgive so easily but now I can hardly even trust anymore.

Every once in a while when I am weak and needy I think about letting you back in. I think about reaching out and apologizing even though it’s not my fault. Then there are other days when I am reminded of how much you hurt me. Some days I just feel empty, some days I am angry, but more frequently as time goes on, I feel stronger.

I can’t let you back in. Ever. You’re Banned from my life forever.

via Daily Prompt: Banned

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