On Facebook if you go to Inside Quest’s page, there is a video called “IQ Millennial Question”. Simon Sinek preaches a pretty powerful and in my opinion, accurate, explanation of why this generation has such a difficult time. He explains the major issues with the generations born after 1994.
Sinek claims that millennials are lazy, entitled, and impatient but emphasize that they are entitled. He believes millennials are taught that they are “special” and can have anything they want just by “wanting it that bad”. When kids ask for things and are handed them, they are still not happy or fulfilled.
Sinek states that sometimes kids made honors classes or received A’s just because their parents complained, or the teachers didn’t want to deal with the parents. Others received awards just for participation. I totally agree with his point that when you award someone for failing it actually makes them feel worse because they know they don’t deserve it. Simon called it and said “Not my words”, “failed parenting strategies”.
He went further to explain that those kids grow up and go to college and then they come home and try to find a job only to realize their mothers can’t get them a promotion, they’re not special, they get nothing for coming in last, and they can’t have something just because they want it.
I also agree and relate to his point, that too many kids don’t know how to form deep meaningful relationships because they don’t rely on their friends. They know their friends will cancel if something better comes along and vise versa. They don’t have the coping mechanism to deal with stress in their lives so they Mope and turn to the things that help them feel better. Alcohol, drugs, social media etc. Those things offer temporary relief.
Some powerful quote from the video are:
“When they are stressed they will not turn to friends but the bottle”.
“People who spend more time on Facebook have higher rates of depression than people who spend less time on facebook”.
“Alcohol is not bad, too much alcohol is bad. Gambling isn’t bad, too much gambling is bad. If you’re sitting at the dinner table with your friends texting someone who isn’t there.. that’s a problem”.
“If you wake up and check your phone before you say hello to your boyfriend or girlfirend that’s a problem and it will destroy your life”.
“This generation is impatient. Everything is at your fingertips”.
Sinek explained that nowadays if you want something you can order it on amazon and have it arrive the next day. Or, for example, want to watch a movie? Go on Netflix or order it. Go on a date? You don’t even have to learn to approach someone in person and introduce yourself because you can do it online first. He claimed millennials don’t know how to say “no” because they’re too afraid to hurt someone’s feelings, whereas the rest of us had to learn how to do that on our own and not just “swipe right”.
I agree that almost everything you want is available instantly. Searching for a job etc. You don’t even have to apply in person anymore it’s all online taking the hard work and sense of accomplishment out of it.
“Satisfaction is a messy/lengthy process”.
Many millennials have experienced wanting to quit their jobs because they haven’t made it anywhere (in 8 months!). Love, a skill set, a career is a long, difficult journey, and if you don’t work hard and ask for help you will fall off the wagon.
“It’s an entire population never finding deep joy and fulfillment”. Always settling for “it’s fine”.
Milennials then blame themselves for not being competent enough to stick with something and second guess themselves when they make mistakes. It is not their fault because they were taught to expect everything to just arrive at their fingertips.
I completely agree, technology and social media is ruining the quality of our relationships. I loved it when they explained that relationships are formed by trust, not in an event or in a day, it is a slow steady consistency that creates trust.
My take away from this is to remove the temptation. Enjoy the world, “which is where ideas happen”. Don’t let social media take away from the little things. Put the phone away or leave it at home when you’re with friends or family and be present. Like an alcoholic removes alcohol from their lives to recover, I need to limit the amount of time I spend on my phone and learn to enjoy life again in the real world and not on social media.
I think so many people have these fairytale lives on Facebook but all we see is what they want us to see. It’s not reality or real life and therefore my expectations of what I should be doing right now are set unrealistically because it’s NOT REAL. Life is hard, everyone struggles and it can be extremely ugly at times. People can be ugly inside and out but you would never know after all the “filters”. Time to come back to reality. My new resolution this year is going to be to remove as much social media and technology out of my daily routine as I can.
I cannot tell you how sad it made me when the previous guy I dated would sit in bed on his phone while I laid next to him trying to talk or get him to pay attention to me. Or I’d wake up to him clicking away on his tablet. I also know a few people who I used to be super close with who are now so distant and only want to use social media to connect. I’m so done with that!