Well… I’m definitely human and I make mistakes.. I went against something I said way at the start of my blog. I posted a few rants about some former friends of mine. One of them was involved in the mess with my ex that I have been writing about a lot recently.
I was so foolish. I let my guard down and reached out to her about three months ago and we finally tried to resolve our friendship. It lasted a little while but only on social media. We would talk online and make plans to hang out but never actually followed through.
It seems our lives just drifted apart and to be honest I wasn’t that eager to hang out with her just yet. After the recent messages from my ex I got drunk one night and responded. I didn’t “invite him” anywhere but my message did not sound how I intended it went I finally sent it… All I said was “I am at our old spot with a friend and it brought back some memories”.
My friend I reconnected with later asked me if I ever responded to his original message (explained in another post). All I told her was “yes and then I blocked him”. She then says “oh, Kate said you invited him out, she said she saw the message so my curiosity got the best of me”. Okay, first of all the ex in reference is the one who was such a fucking asshole to me. She witnessed when he did this before and lied about it to me AND to did this to Kate before and STILL questions MY motives? I finally figured it out. He plays the games, she stirs the pot..
This friend I am referring to is the one who I said I would never let back in my life because of all the demons that would come with it and look what happened. I got sucked in again but I am not going to let it bring me down again.
So I told her that I made a mistake, I don’t want to put her in a position where she has to choose between me and another friend but that it is clear, she is not on my side if she even for one second thought I would have acted on my stupid text message. I haven’t spoken to that guy in over a year until that night. It was stupid of me and I mostly just wanted to see what his response would be so I could catch him in the act and have proof again. But it backfired on me.
I am not that upset about loosing her, I am just upset that I let my guard down and went against my better judgment. I could have avoided this whole thing. Man, I really thought I had my shit together. I know I’m still doing WAY better than last year but I have a lot of improvements to make.