Stressed Out

I’m a little stressed out. I am trying to make so many positive changes but it always seems like when I finally feel good and am doing the best I can, that life puts me to the test. I’m stressed out about money, concerned for some of my friends, had a conflict with someone, and I’m tired of seeing all the political posts recently so I deactivated my social media for the time being.

I’ve been dieting recently as part of my resolutions and I’ve been so good except for last night when I had pizza. I felt guilty immediately and I’ve been trying to make up for it today. I did it to myself and it’s discouraging but I have to keep pushing.

I found out over the weekend that the ex I was ranting about recently is going to a wedding that I will be in- in November. So now I have all this pressure/motivation to get in shape for that. The image of myself I have in my head of what I want to look like on that day would render him speechless. If he brings his girlfriend, my former friend, I would love to see both of their faces when I look hot as hell, maybe I’ll even have a hot date by then.

I am working extra hard but I’m worried about my motivation lasting the whole 9 months until the wedding. I want to get back to the weight I was in 2011, which was about 160 pounds. I am 5′ 7″ and now weight about 226 (already 8 pounds down in a month). Only 66 pound to go! Not only do I want to loose the weight but I want to look toned and athletic. I want to join a gym and maybe even get a trainer to help me with my goal. I will probably have to loose the weight sooner so I can order the right size bridesmaid dress.. Either that or buy the dress and get it altered before the wedding. Any recommendations for that?

I am also getting nervous about starting my new job. I won’t have a break before I start, my last day is next Tuesday then I start the new one on Wednesday. I have to get a bunch of stuff for my orientation like medical records and I don’t know who has them since I’ve had about four different doctors at different places.

I just resolved an issue with a bill that I didn’t know was processed FIVE days after I received confirmation that it had- and in the words on the confirmation- “POSTED” on the 13th. So I had not accounted for that amount in my bank account so towards the end of my pay period they finally took it out and it bounced. I didn’t know until today when I got a letter in the mail. I am a little angry that they emailed me, no call! If it’s something serious like a bill payment bouncing (that effects my credit) a call would have been nice!

I am also so annoyed and done with this office. I want to keep a good rep and stick out the rest of the two weeks but I am so miserable here. It’s so slow they really don’t even need me right now. I’ve been taking a lot of walks… Lord help me get through these bumps and hopefully everything will work itself out. At least I have the new job to look forward to, and I know I have a lot to be thankful for. There is just a lot that got thrown on my plate all in one day..


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